An 82 year old man was recently allocated a new doctor at his local medical centre.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, the doctor told the man that he was doing 'fairly well' for his age. 
A little concerned about that comment, the man couldn't resist asking him a question.
                'Do you think I'll live to be 90?' asked the old man
                'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?' the doctor asked
                'No,' the man replied. 'And I don’t do drugs, either!'
                'Do you eat steaks, sausages and barbecued Ribs?' the doctor continued
                'Not really. My former doctor said that all that red meat is very unhealthy!'
                'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
                'No, I don't, except for a little bit of walking’ replied the man.
                'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
                'No,'  said the man
The doctor looked and him and said,
                ‘Then, why do you even give a damn?’
 
...and another;
 
Does your hand shake when you fill the gas tank?
Feel nauseous when you go to pay the bill?
 
You have car-owner virus.